Most of the last few weeks of this series has focused on mental clutter. We’ve spoken about how to really slow everything down, get rid of what’s unnecessary, but what about what’s left? Some things play on your mind because they are ‘open’ and need to be closed. Think of it as your mental pile of unfinished business.
If you haven’t already been through a process of forgiveness before, chances are you have some unfinished business.
Examples of unfinished business;
A parent or family member you have an outstanding grudge with
Someone that has stolen, abused, or hurt you
A business partner that things didn’t work out with
A partner whom you cheated on or whom cheated on you
Someone who let you down, or whom you let down
The partner or friend that got away whom you’d like to rekindle a relationship with
A child you have let down through poor parenting choices/being human
People you want to say ‘I Love You’ to (but are too frightened)
Ongoing family feuds
Each of these is an example of an ‘open’ piece of business. You may not think about it every day (although you probably think of it at least now and then), but it’s there in your subconscious taking up space. The more unfinished business you have, the more cluttered your mind is, and the less space available for you to find peace.
Forgiveness is often portrayed as a selfless act, or something only soft or weak people do. Actually when you’re forgiving someone it’s as much, if not more, about you, than them. It’s you that you’re setting free. It’s your mind that you declutter.
There is nothing you cannot forgive, if you choose to.
When you hear of people forgiving the killer of their son or daughter, it’s highly likely they are doing that to create peace within themselves. Who really wants to live with that amount of hate every day, for the rest of their lives? The killer feeling better or free may or may not be a by-product, it’s not really what matters or is important.
When you choose not to forgive, you inflict pain on yourself. It’s you that’s hurting.
Forgive others, close out your unfinished business, and you will feel increased peace yourself.
It’s an amazing feeling when you have completed this process, and you have no unfinished business. No part of your mind is now being wasted on the person, or event, or action.
Forgiveness can take many forms. It could be a letter, a phone call, a text, or just a mental process you go through yourself if you don’t want to contact the person (although I have found in all areas except one, the option to contact the person to be most fulfilling).
To forgive or not to forgive, what do you think?